Soul Ties

Them Damn SOUL TIES!!
Current mood: artistic
Category: Romance and Relationships


Soul Ties



Cutting a spiritual soul tie-

How do I?

How do I cut the umbilical glue?

'Tween what I want

And what has come true?

Slits in the skit

Slowly bleeding daily

And romantically torturing my soul.

No peace.

It's imprisonment

With no release.

It's almost impossible

To cut an invisible

Soul Tie

With an "everlasting" wife.

I'm going to be followed

By the slow and steady

Drip….drip….drip….

Of memories as they

Slip….slip….slip….

Away….

But the tie will stay….

It will cross my mind at least once a day

No matter what nosey folks say.

What do they know anyway?

One day at a time

One million dried up tears

Is replaced by a brand new year.

A year of new visions.

A year of new friendships.

A new year of old hopes.

Hopes that a soul tie

Will die

And become history

So I can be.

Time it will take

To forget our date.

The date of our union

When we walked through

A field of spinning love confusion.

Drunk off our own pain and emotion

As we brought forbidden world's together

And thought we'd never

Spin away from each other.

But our future has been uprooted

And our destinies rebooted

To the tune of lies

And timid alibis

As to why

We had to cut our spiritual soul tie.

Every time I lose love

Part of me dies

Like a cat with 999 lives

Will there ever be another time

When I know I found the love of my life

Or have I just cut my last Soul Tie?




I wrote this piece at the end of 2004 through to the beginning of 2005. I was going through it with my girl at the time and I thought it was one of the toughest times of my life. See, some of yall are used to relationships lasting months at a time and sometimes even years. But for me relationships don’t typically last long enough to technically become relationships. "Fiascos" is more like it. Flings. Settling for less than what I deserve to the detriment of myself and those I love. After 31 years I guess this is what makes me somewhat gullible to relationships that seem like they COULD last. They never do. Not when I think I know what I am doing.




Well, four years and several unnecessary battles later this tie has finally been cut and I found this piece that I wrote like the day of. Crazy. I have learned so much and been through so much more since then. Jail. Homelessness. Fights. COURT. Oh my God too much California Court. Am I upset about the cut? It's devastating. It really has a profound effect on people's psyche and emotional makeup. The only way I could really describe it is it kinda felt like the hot ax of GOD came down between us and said "NO MORE". Ever since I had that feeling for the first time ever in my life this person and I have been at war. I think it's mostly because powerful expectations weren't fulfilled. When YOU believe God sent you something, you follow like a good little lamb. When codependent individuals interact with an insecure individual the insecure person's needs are focused on more so than the codependent person's needs. It's in a codependent person's nature to nurture. THAT's the codependency. It all makes sense, really, when you take The Almighty out of it for just a second and look at it for what it is. The all too common battle between codependency and insecurity. And we wonder why 50% of marriages fail. What percentage of the American population actually gets a course on relationships? Either home or school? And I don't believe insecurity makes one innocent in any way either. Insecurities inhibit the realization of God's blessings and your awareness as well as acceptance of His guidance in your life especially in times of covert spiritual danger. I am referring to doing things like second guessing His generosities but also falling for anything with an obscure and unfamiliar sparkle just because you believe it might boost your self esteem and confidence level half a notch. The codependent person, feeling entitled to appreciation and gratitude, may quickly judge the manifestations of these apparent insecurities as signs of evil, weakness, unreliability, and what drives some to madness, disloyalty and/or betrayal. Whichever the delusion, it is not healthy or progressive for either party to operate in it for long periods of time-such as years-or soon perception becomes reality and neither of you can really see the "evil" in it until you let each other down, each of you gets hurt, and the blaming games begin.




Fellas, don’t get caught up trying to deny your spiritual soul tie. If you know in your soul you are tied to that woman don’t be embarrassed of her cause she aint cute or rich. She wasn’t rich or cute when you made that 2nd or 3rd child with her. After I wrote this piece I went back to my Soul Tie one too many times because I thought I was supposed to and it cost me dearly. I couldn’t see someone I was more truly connected to because I thought I was BOUND to someone else. So the one I wasn’t REALLY connected to has become the reason I am not with the one I really WAS connected to. I let almost 3 years go by before I realized it but I am so glad I realized the FIRST one was the WRONG one.




Now that the right one has been revealed she has decided to continue other pursuits than she and I and it hurts-but I did this to us-not her. She gave me the go ahead. I didn’t move. She said please. I said I can't. I said OK. She said it's too late.





So where do I go from here? Forward. A wise man once said 'I have nowhere to go but up!' That's exactly how I feel too brotha.



My heart is spent and my eyes are all cried out...or so it seems. Then I hear a song and it's all over.





I just know I learned my lesson when it comes to soul ties and I will be careful creating them in the future not only for me and the other person's sakes but also for my children and family that I have forced to suffer as they watch me go through these unnecessary and grueling situations. I know God still has a plan for me and he won’t put more on me than I can bear. Not even a seemingly indestructible Soul Tie.






Quorizma....